Caturday Nappers

Arya, Sneakers, and Jasper sacked out on the bed in the Man Cave. P1010173

Remember that these are nap professionals and you should be careful when attempting this at home.

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Been Dazed and Confused All Week


Saturday I started having back issues. Just a little twinge at the spot below my left shoulder blade. I tore this area pretty bad when I was in grade school and it has plagued me ever since. Sometimes it’s just a discomfort and other times it goes into spasms that feel like a great bird of prey is digging into my back with steel-tipped talons. Every forty-five seconds. I tried going to the massage therapist in town to stave it off but that didn’t work. Monday afternoon I was in the clinic, writhing in my chair with every stab of pain. I got a prescription for muscle relaxants which is about the only thing that can kill this. And it takes a LOT of them to do it. So though the pain and spasms were all gone by the next morning, I was groggy and unsteady until last night. Now I’m out of the fog and able to somewhat type legible sentences. So I’m fine. And half a year, a year from now, I’ll strain it again. I have just enough pills left to get me through that one. I think.

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Hail the Bison…But No One Else


Today I’ll watch my NDSU Bison carve up the Cardinals from the University of the Incarnate Word. As promised this is the only football I will watch this weekend.

Here’s an abbreviated tally for misdeeds in the NFL. So far we’ve got a guy who punches out his wife (Ravens), a player actually convicted of assaulting his girlfriend (Carolina), a murdering tight end (Patriots), another domestic abuser (49ers), a team owner that sexually assaulted an exotic dancer (Dallas), and now a Minnesota Viking that took a “switch” to the bare ass of a four year old.

My good friend Thundering Bear often talks about the corrupting influence of money on all aspects of American life. The NFL is no exception. The league makes a massive amount of money each season and they have little incentive to implement any kind a change until all these misdeeds start affecting their bottom line. So if you’re a football fan, join us in our boycott and hit them in their jockstraps in the only way meaningful to them. Because if they start losing advertising money, endorsements, and asses in those seats it will be the only way they will pay attention.

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Honey, I Shaved the Dog…Again


Here is Pippin one day after his buzz cut. It’s still unseasonably cool here and he’s all about finding the warmest spot in the room to sleep. Meanwhile half the cats are outside, piling up carcasses like squirrels stocking acorns for the winter. At least they haven’t caught any squirrels yet. Joffrey did bring a bird into the house this morning and someone left a bloody shrew by the sliding glass door. I see an eviscerated lark near the steps. It’s Saturday, Bloody Saturday here.

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Yesterday It Was My Birthday, I Hung One More Year On The Line


That’s a Paul Simon line. He might have actually wrote that one. Paul has a nasty reputation for ripping off collaborators. Just do a search for “Paul Simon Los Lobos” and you’ll get some unexpected dirt. I like Los Lobos much more that I like Paul Simon, so fuck him.

It was my birthday yesterday. Carjo and I drove to Minot. She had a doctor appointment, Pippin had a grooming appointment, and I took most of the money my sister-in-law gave me (thanks!) to buy some birthday beer. It’s their FFOK Imperial IPA, a stellar beast of a beer and because it’s in a growler, I’ll have to polish it off this weekend.

Tomorrow the Bison of North Dakota State will play the University of the Incarnate Word on national television. For Incarnate word it’s a good deal. If you’re going to be a sacrificial lamb for a behemoth like NDSU, you might as well do it on television and get some exposure out of the deal. Once again, Fargo is hosting EPSN’s game day and like last year, it’s going to be insane downtown. I’ll just sit back with my ankle on ice, watching the chaos on and off the field, working on my buzz.

It will be my only football of the weekend (boycotting the NFL for the near future or until Goodell resigns, we’ll see). Sunday might be a warm fall day. I think we’ll go out to the farm and walk the land. That beats football any day.

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I Do As Commanded

Hal 2000

There’s a fellow on my music forum that goes by the nickname Hal. Yes, that Hal. Anyway on Facebook he challenged me to list Ten Books That Have Stayed With Me. Book list? Me? And away we go in no particular order…

1. The Hobbit/The Lord of the Rings – given to me as a confirmation gift by fiendish older cousins.
2. The Wonder Boys by Michael Chabon. One of those books that I can pick up at anytime and get lost in.
3. The Lord of Light by Roger Zelazney. So weird for its time, contains my favorite opening and closing paragraphs
4. Lake Wobegon Days by Garrison Keillor. The 95 Theses came far far too close to describing my growing up in a small provincial town
5. The Game of Thrones by George RR Martin. I thought fantasy was doomed to be forever a trip through unicorns and daisies. I was wrong.
6. Missionary Stew by Ross Thomas. My favorite thriller of all time and Draper is the kind of hero I can identify with in my most egotistical moments.
7. E is for Evidence by Sue Grafton. I had stopped reading these because of who knows. Reread this and remembered how great Sue is.
8. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by JK Rowling. This is the one where shit started getting real.
9. Seabiscuit by Laura Hillenbrand. The most captivating piece of nonfiction I have ever read.
10. Jonathon Strange and Mr. Norrell by Susanna Clarke. Such a strange and wonderful world, I truly did not want this to end.

Note..I could have easily added another thirty and not broken a sweat.

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What Keith Said…


I was going to launch a rant on the NFL’s bungling of this mess with domestic abuser Ray Rice but there is little I could add to this other than agree than all of these people, especially Goodell, should be excused from their jobs and Rice should be in jail. 

I am a big football fan but its problems tug at my reason and common sense, eroding my love for the sport. There’s the issue of concussions and brain injuries, the issue of the treatment and condition of ex-players, the issue of addicting players to pain killers, the issue of homophobic coaches, the issue of the nickname of the Washington DC football team, and on and on. I think I am reaching a tipping point. 

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